The search for your true self
I’m not one for labels. I used to call myself all sorts of things: “vegetarian”, “sustainable”, “ethical”, “highly sensitive”, etc. While I may still reference those labels now and then (it does make it easier for others to understand why you are making certain choices in life), I am no longer defined by them. But once you start dropping these labels, then who and what are you exactly?
Limiting beliefs and other lies
Who I truly am may still be somewhat of a mystery, but I do know what I’m not. I’m not the lies and limiting beliefs that others have put on me in the past. I lived according to these lies for way too long. Not being creative being one of them, since this high school teacher would call me out on my lackluster creations in her art class all the time. Or the belief that I’m anti-social, as birthday parties and most other get-togethers don’t really excite me. Unfortunately we constantly compare ourselves to others, leaving us feeling not good enough. Day in day out we receive feedback, which we store and use to form new beliefs. And not all these beliefs work in our favor.
Because of what I was told and shown growing up, I thought that:
– I was a really weird kid, since I didn’t care much about what other kids were doing and just wanted to do my own thing, so I never really fit in.
– I would never be able to become successful, since I didn’t finish college and barely survived high school.
– I would never be happy, seeing that the first 25 years of my life weren’t exactly great years.
Before I started working on myself, it was difficult to see through the lies. I assumed that what other people were telling me, especially those in power or those that were older than me, was the truth. I started changing myself so I would fit in better. I just wanted to belong somewhere and be seen. I thought that if others thought I was like them, then they’d care and like me.
Only you know who you truly are
But you will never find the answers to who you truly are by listening and blindly following other people. And while it’s okay to experiment and try out new things, pretending you’re someone you’re not won’t help either. I have found out that accepting myself for where I am right now, with all my beautiful traits and flaws, is the key to figuring out who I am. Because we are perfectly fine the way we are right now. We are good. We will figure this out.
Start by removing all the labels you and others have put on you. You are not a label. You don’t fit into one square box. And you don’t let other people decide how to live your life either. Trust yourself. Trust that once you are fully committed to yourself and that when you love and accept yourself fully, you will find your true self.
When I’m in a state of pure love and acceptance, I know that:
– Being “weird” isn’t a bad thing. Choosing to be myself is a great thing. I don’t have to fit in anywhere.
– I have already reached success, despite having no degrees, and I will continue to be successful.
– My past wasn’t all that bad, there was some light there too. And once I took ownership of my life, everything started improving. I am happy now.
Be proud of where you are today
Own your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem to you. You are your accomplishments too, you know. So start seeing yourself as smart, as creative, as someone who gets stuff done, as someone who cares and shows up. Celebrate your wins and celebrate others’ wins. Focus on everything good in your life, even if it’s the smallest thing. Since whatever you focus on, will always expand… So focus on the good things, and more good things will come to you.
I went from being insecure, wanting to fit in and being liked to someone who just doesn’t care too much about other people’s opinions anymore. Neither do I care about what other people are doing with their lives, because I know that we are all on this journey of figuring out who we are. It is not for me to judge what others are doing, so I try and give everyone the space they need to work on themselves.
Who I truly am is becoming more and more clear. Wherever you are in your journey, let the answers come to you as you start accepting and loving yourself for who you are right now. You’ll figure this out, one step at a time.